I didn't know you were there

I didn’t know you were there!

I didn’t know you were there!

I was tired all the time and had been working for two weeks straight on my feet in the run up to Christmas. I thought after Christmas and New Year I would start to feel less tired!

How wrong was I! It was now the middle of January and I had all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I wondered if maybe I was diabetic as I have struggled with my weight since a teenager. I was now 27 and worried that maybe I had abused my body with eating junk, drinking too much on a Friday and Saturday night and was now paying the price.

I plucked up some courage and made a doctors appointment for 31st January, the day which would change my life forever!

The Doctor asked me lots of questions and gave me an examination. I popped up on to the bed and he pushed quite hard on my stomach and left the room.  I was so worried I didn’t know what to think.

He returned after a few minutes with a Fetal Doppler he put it on my stomach and within seconds there was a heartbeat! I couldn’t believe it. I was pregnant.

He said I was quite far gone so he would send me for an emergency scan. I went the next day and they told me as they had no point of reference for size as I hadn’t had a previous scan that I was probably close to full term! I couldn’t believe it. What was I going to do? My partner already had children! How could I be that far pregnant without knowing I hear you ask! Well I had periods every month, he was small and laying flat on my spine. I had no bump. I had probably put on 10lbs in last year but I did this all the time up and down with my weight. I suffer with back pain already. How could this be happening?!

I was worried about telling my partner and it was his Birthday. I decided I would tell him over dinner and take it from there. Only we were not alone for dinner in the end so I couldn’t do it! I was in shock didn’t know what to do, where to even start. I decided I would spend a couple of days getting my head around it and went and got a couple of baby grows and a little outfit and hid them under the bed in a bag with my scan photo. The days went by and it got harder and harder. Until one night the baby decided enough was enough and I started having contractions.

Newborn Ryan
Newborn Ryan

So from 11 days of pregnancy, Ryan was born on 11th February, a gorgeous little boy. Who still 11 years on I am never sure if he is here, as he is still quiet and laid back but most of all he is my precious son.

Written by Tanya – Little Pickles Markets Hampshire Organiser

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